Falling off.

I bored you with my health issues, and then I went away. My apologies.

Since my last entry, I’ve stopped taking blood pressure medication. For me, this is a big deal. I worked really hard at it. Okay, so I worked really hard at it because I thought I was dying, and coming off my bp meds wasn’t the initial goal, but it happened. I’m off. I still have the same problem I had when I decided to drastically change my diet and lifestyle. And I have no guarantee that whatever is hurting my stomach isn’t slowly killing me. But the blood pressure meds are a thing of the past. For now.

For the first time since I was diagnosed with high blood pressure I met a doctor who said he wanted to help me try to figure out why I had high blood pressure. Before him, three of my doctors told me I’d be on meds for the rest of my life. A totally unacceptable answer to a woman in her thirties, I think. It helped that I’d been reading a bunch of health books, and forming an opinion about individual responsibility when it comes to health. For a minute, I wanted to write an article or memoir about it. 

And then (I never said I’m strong when it comes to food), last week my mother-in-law celebrated her 74th birthday and I drank 3 glasses of red wine and ate chocolate cake. I just…seriously, I don’t know what came over me. The wine was really good and our server kept refilling my glass. And dessert was a flourless chocolate cake and, really, just a way to prolong the conversation in a warm restaurant with a view of a lake and 4 swans.

It all went downhill from there. The next day I went on a mini vacation to Newport, Rhode Island with my husband to tour the mansions. I drank wine and ate cookies, dairy and poultry. Oy! (I won’t lie. I feel like crap. But my craving for sugar and alcohol and coffee and things that require heavy cream has tripled since falling off the wagon.)

Newport is really attractive. Unfortunately, they don’t do a great job clearing away ice and snow, so we couldn’t walk the quaint cobblestone streets even though our hotel was in walking distance of everything. We were the only guests in our hotel, which was both terrific and weird. Terrific because it was absolutely silent at night, and weird because you aren’t exactly anonymous when you’re the only guests in a hotel. (Being anonymous on vacation is enormously important to me.) Touring the mansions reminded me just how fascinated I am by “old money” and mansions and servants’ staircases and servants. (Marble House had the best servants’ staircase ever. Maybe I should have been an architect or historian.) We’re already talking about returning to Newport when all of the mansions are open.

(I must admit I’m kind of embarrassed by my fascination with “old money” families because it’s so unoriginal.)

Obviously, I’m back in New York City. I had Godiva chocolate today and white wine. It’s the holidays. Honestly, I think I’m going to indulge through Christmas. The good news is I was craving wheatgrass and juiced kale (with cucumbers and snowpea sprouts) while I was away, so by Wednesday I know I’ll be desperate for health food.

Happy Holidays!